ARL: If the override fails

I put a nice journal entry in my flying page today.

I’m quite happy with my recent post to the ARL list. To preface, there’s an upcoming override tax vote coming in a few days. They’re considering raising property taxes by about 5% for this year instead of the normal 2.5% or so. The repercussions of the rate increase are being hotly debated. Just about every line below is a happy perversion of something that someone’s said in the last two weeks on the list. Read on.

To:
Date: Tue, 10 Jun 2003 02:31:14 -0400
Subject: [arlington] Override summary

So, to summarize from some of the recent posts…

If the override fails

I will leave Arlington out of disgust
The good teachers will be fired and the bad ones retained
The idea of “community” will be banished from Arlington forever
Arlington will burn to the ground
The tradition of educating our young will cease
Gangs will troll the streets
Potholes will swallow our vehicles whole
Our children will become fat and stupid
Books will cease to function
Art and music will be eliminated
The MCAS will kill our children
My grandfather will die of a heart attack before the EMTs arrive

Wow.

—————————————————
And If the override succeeds

I will leave Arlington because I can’t afford it anymore
Arlington school administrators will grow fat
The socialist party will have gained a significant strategic advantage
Short on funds, my summer block party will be cancelled
Arlington will still burn to the ground
Families with no children won’t be able to afford birth control, driving them into a vicious cycle
Gangs trolling the streets will be swallowed whole by potholes
The potholes will remain. I’ve seen the DPW try to fill a pothole, they’re friggin retarded.
Our children will grow and flourish, basking in the titanium-white bright light of art, wisdom and knowledge, they will respect and revere their elders, caring for them through to their old age with ceremony and ritual.
Every student will pass the MCAS
My car’s brakes will unexpectedly fail, killing a local pedestrian and injuring 3 others

All this is hinging on your vote and $60/year.

It’s a joke.
Laugh.

lee

No, I should correct myself, EVERY line is a take-off of something said on the list recently! :-)

Leave a Comment

Do not write "http://" in your comment, it will be blocked. It may take a few days for me to manually approve your first comment.

You can edit your comment after submitting it.