Help Me Find a Bed

Please help me. I sleep on my side. Most nights my hip sinks into my bed, pulling my back out of wack and giving me a backache. Nearly every bed I’ve had in my life has started to sag in the hip area after a few months. Do you know of a bed that doesn’t have this problem? Please don’t write saying “I’ve never had a problem with xxx bed.” Most people haven’t had a problem with ANY bed. I’d like to hear “I had a problem with several beds but found THIS bed to be better…”

For reference, I’m 6’1″, about 210lbs, and a sidesleeper.

A partial lineup of the beds I’ve killed:

  • Actually, the waterbed I had in high school (thanks mom & dad & 1980’s!) didn’t have a problem.
  • I killed a bunch of beds through college and after but I can’t recall the deets.
  • 1999: I think it was a new Sealy Posturpedic. I killed it
  • 2003: Bed in NJ. When I moved in 2005, it was starting to feel pretty bad
  • 2005: I slept on a portable Aerobed for 6 months. It was awesome.
  • 2005: store model Macys bed. I lay on it in the store for an hour and loved it. I had it at home for 2 weeks and my butt sank so low, it felt like I was in a lounge chair. Returned.
  • 2006: new Ikea Sultan queen bed. I had to throw it away after 3 years
  • 2009: another new Ikea Sultan queen bed. I killed it.
  • 2012: Megan’s queen size bed for 3 years. I killed it.
  • 2015: Nest Alexander Signature Select — Medium, King size. After 1.5 years, to keep my back sanity, I have a mattress topper, and I put a towel between the mattress topper and mattress (over the course of 2 months I go from 0-3 layers of towel to give increasing support) and every 2-3 months I have to rotate the bed 90 degrees. Originally I had to rotate it every 4-6 months. December 2018: putting a 1″ thick, 18″x 24″ piece of foam helped a lot. Late January 2019: I’m starting to get back aches and leg tingles again.
  • 2019 I tried a Sleep Number P3 bed for a week. I couldn’t ever get comfortable on it. It felt like… it felt my middle was sleeping on a bag of air; my head and feet were over the edge of it so they felt different no matter how I slept on it. Felt just as weird on day 7 as it was on day 1. In one configuration, my middle felt like it was going to roll off the balloon under my butt while my head and feet were “fine” or my butt was in a hole while my head and feet were “fine”. There was no middle ground :-(
  • 5-14-19: tried a “Lucid” hybrid spring and latex memory foam twin bed from Amazon.  The bed started sagging seriously after 2 months. Fail.
  • Update 8-17-20: We went to Bay Bed & Mattress in Santa Cruz in January and got a king size bed. The cover on the bed can be unzipped and the latex cushions changed out. We went with 4 layers: something like medium, medium, firm, firm. After about 2 months, my side was sagging so I fluffed the cushions. After another month, it sagged again. I reduced it to 3 layers and a sheet of closed foam. That has held me for a few months. The adjustability of the bed will hopefully get me through! It takes maintenance but at least I <strong>can</strong> do maintenance because of the unzippable cover. They are a small company with very good customer service. Check them out



  1. lee says:

    Blah, I slept 11 hours last night and by the time I woke, the bed had sagged so much that I had terrible lower-back pain. Around 7 am I sleepily rolled onto the middle of the bed and dreamily said “Ahhhhhh, that’s so much better” then fell asleep for another hour. But it was too late, the damage had been done. Here I am a day later and I’m “mostly” better. Last night I slept on our spare bed that doesn’t have any sags.

  2. Laurie says:

    I am a fellow sufferer. Numb limbs, tossing and turning, bone pain. I have spent so much money on this bullsh–t.

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