I just came across this journal entry from my Mindfulness class this past March at San Jose State. I was travelling 2 1/2 hrs each way to school. I am viscerally reminded how intense that time was.
I did a breathing practice with the mp3 on the bus to school today. It was nice to sit facing forward. I’m always facing sideways in my “favorite” seat, the first seat on the left of the bus. I sit there so I can wedge myself in the corner and not have to think about stabilizing myself at every turn and bump while I work on my computer. It is awful. I get car sick most days. When I wear my sea bands, I’m usually less car sick. But the other day I wasn’t car sick at all. But I got off the bus saying to myself “Oh god, I WISH I were car sick! I just feel “bad” in my whole body!” As I walked to SJSU, I took off the sea bands and I had to stop walking as waves of nausea overtook me. Joy.
Today, for 2 moments during the breathing meditation I felt a wonderful nothing. 15 minutes after the experience, sitting in the learning lab, I missed it. I got a little teary eyed thinking of how much I missed it. It was a beautiful nothing. I decided to try and take that feeling with me through the today. I wasn’t sure how it would go.
It went really well. I had an inner calm the whole day. Well, actually, I could feel the inner calm and the manic-me trading control of my body throughout my day.
The day went well holding onto that nothing. I’m going to keep doing that.