Colon Prep, Yay!

Colonoscopies are important and good.

I can legitimately say that my shit don’t stink.
It looks more like pee, but it don’t stink!

Hang on, I’ve got to go poop like the Bellagio.

Ok, I’m back.

I feel like I am drinking the entire ectoplasm effects budget from the original Ghostbusters movie! AKA 4 liters of GaviLyte with a tiny lemon packet, and some Gas-X. The tiny lemon packet makes the whole thing worthwhile!

My tummy rumbling sounds like a mini-thunder storm. It’s kinda cute, actually.

At the beginning of drinking, I was like, “yeah, this isn’t so bad. Just drink the drink.” But near the end, it’s like, “oh god, I can’t drink any more! I mean, I can but I can’t but oh god.”

An acquaintance on Facebook wrote:

I heard that in Martin Short’s autobiography he, Steve Martin, and Albert Brooks all do their colonoscopy prep together.
They chug the awful drink…then play poker at the friend with the nicest house/most bathrooms. But they all three sit around trying to get each other to laugh one another into shitting themselves. Then they all go to the dr the next day. Get scans. Then go out for margaritas when it’s all over.

For my first colonoscopy I had propofol and I swear my experience was like having a refreshing light nap in the middle of the day. Highly recommended. I wasn’t groggy or psychotic (which occasionally is a thing with other general anesthesias!) or anything afterward!

Followup at 8pm:Gina I got fentanyl and something and am still a bit groggy from my 3pm or so procedure (no, I could not have gotten home by taxi). Dr found 2 small polyps. They turned up the meds so I don’t remember it at all. I was hoping to see inside my own butt. Oh well!

One Comment

  1. Free says:

    Trust me, it could have been worse! My last one, they prescribed the pills in place of the drink. The pills didn’t work. So then I made an emergency trip for Miralax and Gatorade in the middle of the night. I drank that right away. I drank more in the morning, but threw much of it up. So I wasn’t really prepped when I arrived, and they had to do some extra clean-out. Then several hours after the procedure, all hell broke loose!

Leave a Comment

Do not write "http://" or "https://" in your comment, it will be blocked. It may take a few days for me to manually approve your first comment.