I finally finally was able to install my own PHP and eAccelerator on Dreamhost. After all the pain and teeth pulling and agony and frustration and hoop-jumping, it was really easy.
Configure (set my domain name in both scripts) and run the 2 Alternative PHP 5 Install Scripts
Copy and paste into my .htaccess file.
Verify PHP is running.
Configure (set my domain name) and run the eAccelerator Install Script
Copy and paste into my php.ini file.