Lee.org

I think of San Francisco as being Home of the Zombie. So why isn’t there a San Francisco contingent for Thrill The World?

I assume that the local undead community believes this event to be about shark jumping.

Wow. Cracked.com comes through, again.

These are all real projects with links to verifications

Project A119 was a United States plan to nuke the moon in order to freak out the Russians during the cold war.

A large explosion on the Terminator line (the dividing line between the dark and light side of the moon) would put the sun behind the mushroom cloud, making the explosion visible with the naked eye from Earth. Presumably this is because the scientists in question were using prison logic: If you don’t want to end up somebody’s man-wife, you gotta kill the first random guy you see and make everybody else think you’re crazy.

Blue Peacock was a British plan to build 10 kiloton landmines to be activated during a retreat… and kept warm by chickens.

the U.S. Army employed no less than 22 full-time psychics to do remote viewing

Operation Northwood was a US plan fake a Cuban terrorist attack on US soil to give us an excuse to kick Cuba’s ass.

Project Horizon was a plan to put a nuclear military base on the moon in 1959.

The M-388 Davy Crockett was a tactical nuclear recoilless rifle projectile that was deployed by the United States during the Cold War with a selectable yield equivalent to 10 or 20 tons of TNT.

Yow!

I just called San Francisco 311 to offer a compliment to the city. The city changed the traffic light timing on Valencia Street between 16th and 25th about 4 months ago. It is now a green wave at 15 13.5 miles per hour in both directions. I love it.

Update 3-22-12: I drove the route and verified that the wave is 13.5 mph from 16th st to 24th st, not 15mph like I originally thought. Back to original post…

For cars, it offers traffic calming and  consistency. If you drive at 13.5mph, you’ll hit a green light at every intersection. Drivers make their way down the road roughly as fast but it’s less stressful. And if a driver -really- wants to go around this sluggish feeling traffic, they can take South Van Ness or Guerrero.

It is easy for bikes to keep up with the pace of traffic, making it feel safer because  there is no speed difference between cars and bikes. Going up-hill from 18th-21st it’s a healthy challenge to keep up with the lights. It’s an odd thrill on a bike, meeting up with the same cars at every light.

Pedestrians have less to worry about because traffic is moving slower and more  consistently. The strip from 15th to 25th is a pedestrian-friendly shopping and living district, now moreso!

My only complaint: I want to see more of this!

Also read this article on SF Streetsblog that talks about the Valencia Street re-timing.

On the Wednesday of Burning Man, my bike was stolen. I had parked it in front of Soma with a cheap 4 number wire lock on the front wheel. So no drunkard took it, the lock was cut with tin snips or better :-(. And darn it, I was less than 5 minutes away from seeing the thief. I had glanced at my bike and decided not to leave yet, I took a quick stroll around the Soma fuel depot and went back to the bike. I immediately found my jacket on the ground, which had been sitting on the back of my bike… but no bike. But no matter.

I sent this letter to Feedback @ Burning Man today.

————————————————–
This is a letter mostly about stolen bike policies. I apologize in advance if it comes off as an angry letter. I really want to help improve on the state of things which is why I am bringing these issues to you.

At about 6pm on Monday, the last day of Burning Man I spoke with a man named Travis who was moving Yellow Bikes around on a truck. He drove up to me and some aquaintances at Center Camp and asked what we were doing. We had been looking around at the rows of unclaimed bikes. I explained that my bike had been stolen and I was looking for it or a suitable replacement. He gave me a long cold evil-eye stare and very strongly told me not to take a bike that didn’t belong to me but instead fill out a form at Playa Info, or that I could fill out a form with him the next day, Tuesday. We then went our ways.

1) I went to Playa Info and the place had already been disassembled. In its space there was a shade structure, a desk and some papers on the desk. The papers did not concern a Lost and Found registry. Obviously there would be no way to find Travis again since I learned nothing more from him except his name. So could anyone ever possibly fill out a Lost and Found bike form?

2) The 2009 Survival Guide has no mention of a Lost and Found registry. The Burning Man website mentions “At the end of the event, lost bikes (e.g. abandoned ones that have been gathered up) can be recovered at Playa Info. Unclaimed bikes are donated to Reno-based non-profits”. I note that they are not talking about a Lost and Found registry. So how could I have known about this mythical Lost and Found registry without angry Travis and his evil eye burning my guilty soul?

3) Most importantly, let’s say that Travis is right and I found the Lost and Found bike registry. It is obvious this would serve no one. I can imagine the phone call I might get a week after Burning Man, “Hey we found your bike. It’s in a pile of other bikes in Gerlach. You can either come and get it or we’ll donate it.” If I actually got that phone call, I’d be -very- angry.

So, in short, I’d like to ask Travis from Yellow Bikes (and Burning Man) how he can justify trying to push on me and presumably other people a policy of a Lost and Found bike registry that has an absolutely 0% chance of returning any bikes to their owners.

Some possibly better solutions include:
– a laissez faire policy about bikes
– publicizing and operating a Lost and Found registry (I dunno, sounds like a lot of work)
– encouraging and supporting volunteer efforts (I’ve heard that previous volunteer efforts met with mediocre success)

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I look forward to my new bike being stolen in the big Metropolis in the desert next year ;-)

Lee Sonko

Aaaa! CTP, I need to own this button!

At the beginning of Burning Man this year, a woman told me this joke. vowed that I would retell it to as many people as I possibly could. I’d let it spark conversations and start a revolution.  I ended up retelling it to maybe fifty or a hundred people! I asked, “Now, it’s your job to tell two friends. And tell them to tell two friends! With luck, by the end of the event every person will be telling every other person this joke constantly. It will become the new ‘Aloha'”!

Telling this joke started many an excellent conversation. By the end of the event, I had 2 variants.

Simple version

me – Do you know what the two sexiest barnyard animals are?
them – umm
me – [bow chicka 70’s song mode] Brown Chicken Brown Cow!” [/bow chicka 70’s song mode]

Long version

me – I was wondering, what do you think are the two sexiest barnyard animals?
[let weird thoughtful conversation commence for a few minutes]
me – You know, for me, [thoughtful pause] I’ve gotta say that the two sexiest barnyard animals have to be [bow chicka 70’s song mode] brown chicken brown cow [/bow chicka 70’s song mode].

It served as an introduction, just walking up to a stranger and starting in with the question. It could break a lull in conversation. It served as fodder for conversation, I’d ask which version they liked better or right pronunciation of the punch line; man, people had a lot of opinions on the correct pronunciation, fun! It was viral… it is viral! Tell your friend and plant the virus in their brain! It is a wonderful joke.

I have to thank the beautiful person who first told it to me!

Note: when telling the punchline, and at no other time during the joke, it is vitally important that you bob your head up and down, left and right, and forward and back! It is a complex motion but I can not be held responsible if you do not follow this practice! To perform the maneuver, imagine you are alternately trying to use your nose to touch two points, one just above and to your left and the other just above and to your right. Practice!

Macaroni and cheese lubricated with bacon fat – curiously fabulous

Bacon wrapped figs with goat cheese – sublime joy

Cupcakes with bacon icing – yes, cupcakes with bacon!

Bacon wrapped  jalapeño poppers  – Powie! Zowie!

Mini bacon bread buns – one of my contributions!

Italian spiced bacon bread rollup – mine! got a couple good reviews :-)

Jesse’s Bacon Wheel Casserole – as he described it, “…just a tuna noodle casserole BUT we use wagon-wheel shaped pasta, AND use bacon instead of tuna. The idea is that the small pieces of bacon will get lodged between the spokes of the wheel.” !! :-)

There were more bacon based finger foods that I consumed that added to the joy of the evening but, alas I forget what they were! Phoey!

Excellent conversation with Susie!

It was startling how within 15 minutes of arrival there was this bacon fueled frenzy of eating and “om om nom nom om!” and heated conversation with eye-rolling-back goodness. It’s weird that it’s hard to put my finger exactly on why it was so good. It was little like being drunk. It was… dare I say, the magic of bacon!

CTP had left a pile of awesome bacon themed buttons. CTP is awesome.

“Bacon: The Gateway Meat”

“Bacon: It’s what’s for dinner”

“Bacon: It’s what’s for desert”

“1: Kittens
2: ???
3: Bacon
4: Genitals
5: Safety”

(If you don’t get that numbered list, historically, safety was first but it had recently fallen to third. But bacon is the new safety and.. well, it’s funny, just trust me!)

Wow, the Norsemen really love Barak!

Publicly, that’s all I can say. Privately, I say “Yes!”

The fricking Blue Angels are strafing the city again, it must be Fleet Week. At first I didn’t really notice it. Now, after 4 hours, every time I hear those machines go screaming by, my guts tells me, “Shit! Shit! Shit! You’re gonna get killed! DO something!” My guts seem to be more worried about the building being bombed and me being crushed than getting shot per se.

Not fun.

They can stop now.

Any time they want.

Charlotte got me a Daisy Powerline 880s airgun that shoots BBs and pellets for my birthday. Wee!

Local copy of Powerline 880 Manual

I can now blow the heck out of any cardboard box within 200 yard radius! Those boxes don’t stand a chance!

I was throwing together dinner with stuff I had on hand, rice, some pignolia nuts and  spinach from the freezer. It needed something meaty but I didn’t have any meat in the freezer. I had lonza from Jessup  so I sliced some thin and chopped it so it looked like confetti. It was a culinary revelation! The salt, the texture against the rice, the chew! Wonderful!