Raptor Jesus

Google for “Raptor Jesus”. I dare you.


raptorjesus1.jpg raptorjesus3.jpg raptorjesus2.jpg


Here is the original, the one, the only: http://sweetraptorjesus2.ytmnsfw.com/

Now google for Raptor Jesus.

It plays smoother on ytmnd but here’s a local archive…

Here is the Raptor Jesus slideshow (click on the image to see an an animated gif) to be played with the video raptor_jesus.mp3. Put your audio-player on ‘repeat’.


Update 3-3-08: The raptor battle just above was painted by Brandon Bird, titled “Killing Machine”. I’m an instant fan! (yes, that’s  Bea Arthur grappling that raptor)


  1. jen says:

    lol these look so cool. i love um. keep it up.

  2. Emily says:

    I love these–I got this page when googling ‘raptor jesus’… I’m going to put one of these pictures on my wall (Along with noodly appendage… I should make it all a shrine…)

  3. Zen says:

    P E R F E E E E E E C C C C T T T ! ! ! !


  4. samuel says:

    u REALLY shuldnt be portraying Jesus like that even though he will forgive you, its messed up

  5. Roach McPhungus says:

    Love it. Not only does the art give a new meaning to rapture, the art itself and the humor rocks.

  6. mike says:

    u REALLY shouldn’t portray raptors that way even though they are extinct, it’s messed up

  7. bob cratchit says:

    this is very stupid

  8. Xi says:

    Sacrilegious, especially to Catholics.

  9. Lee says:

    > Sacrilegious, especially to Catholics.

    Except creationist Catholics. Then it’s dogma. Well, the first and last images anyway.

  10. Xuncu says:

    Heh heh heh, dude’s wrasslin’ a Veloc! That’s great! XD

  11. Heather says:

    This was horrible I can’t believe you would treat the image of Jesus that way

  12. Lee says:

    Heather, I’m just an impartial observer. But then why is it horrible? If the bible is correct and the world is some 6,000 years old then Jesus did live in a world with dinosaurs. It’s people like you that are trying to keep the truth down! Who’s the blasphemer now?
    (Creationism Museum video)(tour of the Creationism Museum)

    This is science!

  13. det says:

    That Painting is of Bea Arthur’s wrasslin’ a Raptor
    http://www.brandonbird.com/paintings.html there are a bunch of good paintings check them out. I Love Raptor Jesus

    it’s called Killing Machine

  14. Lee says:

    Wow! Thanks! That art is so much fun!!!

  15. Mary (not a virgin) says:

    Is a baby raptor in Jesus’s arms more offensive than a lamb because raptors are carnivorous? Or not kosher? I’m serious, I’m not making fun. Why is a graphic, gory image of a man being executed more acceptable than a man holding a lizard? Would it be less offensive if it were St. Francis of Assisi (who loved animals)? Or is it because Satan is lord of the reptiles?
    I think Christians get artistic portrayals of Jesus confused with the man himself, and the more popular an image is, the more holy it is. So it’s basically like honoring a graven image. Unless that’s what’s offensive about Raptor Jesus.

  16. Mary (not a virgin) says:

    I want to plug the rock-opera “The Broken Bride” by Ludo because it features the AWESOMEST scene where raptors come pouring out of a time portal to fight Satan and THEY WIN! So I guess that’s why they’re extinct.

  17. Slim says:

    everyone knows jesus is fake
    there is no proof

    we have proof, however, of raptor jesus
    so everyone should give their lives to the velocaraptor jesus
    before the velocarapture comes, and the raptor jesus comes back and tears you apart with his razor sharp talons

  18. Jay says:

    This is really sick. Jesus is the Lord. Dinosaurs are made up by hollywood and athiests

  19. lee says:

    Jay, I tried to think of something funny to say in response to your creationist remark but your brand of humor is really quite sublime!

    Big yucks, Thanks!

  20. jar.io says:

    O Jesus de Aquarius…

    Jesus sempre foi superestimado, considerado por uns como o FILHO DE DEUS, ou subestimado por outros como, o profeta de 3 anos de serviço.

  21. Bathes in Milk says:

    Kinda funny, what people call the image of Jesus. I mean anybody have a source image?

    A second comment, if you can’t bother spelling your comment correctly people may assume that you are ten years old. I don’t take those comments seriously at all.

  22. DZ says:

    omfg loved it, it was halarious XD

  23. My GOD?? When was this discovery made?? How did CNN not pick this up ??? This is huge! Were the new bones found amongst Noah’s Ark when IT was discovered??

    ps – when did Christians become the creepy ones? Because these days, they really, REALLY are – and I’m saying that as a gay man. If you can give one of ME the heebie-jeebies, your shit’s pretty messed up…

  24. Anon says:

    You are right Jay. Jesus put fake dinosaur fossils underground to test our faith. YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD.

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