I’ll be moving soon enough… I hope

[Written 9-6-05, but I delayed publishing to protect the innocent…. and the guilty]

A letter arrived on about 9-6-05 for Jane, she is in Oregon for the summer and I am living in her room. The letter looked to be quite official… coming from a local prosecutor’s office. I set it on Scott’s chair. When Natasha came home, the conversation went, as near as I can recall, just like this:

Lee: There is an important letter for Jane. Do you know how to get in touch with her?
Natasha: Where is the letter?
Lee: I wouldn’t open it. It looks important. It’s on Scott’s chair.
Natasha: [walks over to Scott’s chair in his office quickly]
Lee: [calling into the other room] Don’t open it. It looks important.
Natasha: [walks slowly toward me, reading the opened letter]
Lee: Don’t read it. It’s not for you. It’s illegal for you to read it.
Natasha: [Looking up at me and then back to studying the letter] Who is this for?
Lee: It’s for Jane. Your housemate. [raising my voice slightly] Don’t read it. It’s not for you.
Natasha: But this is for Jane Jang.
Lee: Yes, that’s right, your housemate named Jane. Don’t read it. Do you know how to reach her?
Natasha: [still studying the letter carefully, going to page 2] But her name is spelled different. It is C-H-A-N-G
Lee: They misspelled it. But it’s still for Jane. Stop reading it. Does Scott know how to get in touch with her?
Natasha: But that is not her name. It is spelled different.
Lee: Yes. That letter is for Jane. Stop reading it.
Natasha: [walks back into Scott’s office, reading the letter intently. A minute later, she comes out.] Maybe we should find Jane.
Lee: Yes, that’s what I said. How do we get in touch with Jane? You shouldn’t be reading it. It’s illegal for you to.
Natasha: You don’t have to worry. I would never read your mail.
Lee: [staring at the open letter in her hands] Yes you would.
Natasha: [standing in my room, studying the letter closely] I’m just looking for who the letter is to.
Lee: It’s to Jane. You can see that from the outside.
Natasha: Do you have any glue?
Lee: Huh? No.
Natasha: I want to put it back.
Lee: [holds out some tape]
Natasha: [puts the letter in the envelope and seals it with the tape. She then stands up and calls Jane’s voice mail, leaving a message. I don’t know where she put the letter.]


  1. Laura says:

    Hrm, but why post this at this *exact* moment? Shouldn’t you be regaling us with tales of a budding country music career?

    And were you bedding down in a convict’s room? Because, if that’s true, that definitely gets you some street cred. I may have to call you Capt’n Badass.

  2. Lee says:

    2 months ago, I wrote it and scheduled it to be posted after I moved.

  3. Laura says:

    Oh, well, there is that.

  4. Scott says:

    Yeah, Jane just got out of jail, that is why you were subletting from her. Just kidding, Jane is not a convict, her and a friend got mugged before she left for Oregon, they caught the mugger and she has to appear in court to testify.

    That is not the first letter for Jane regarding that matter, she got one earlier and called her before opening it.

    Speaking of Jane, she has only spent one night here since you moved out, is she sub subletting from you?

  5. Scott says:

    Funny thing, I was going to email you, but decided to read your blog first. I was going to emailing because you have mail here, but forgot about it, kind of ironic. Anyhoo, got some mail for you and I got a new router too.

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