At the request of a client, I contacted Symantec about some suspected pirated software I bought on Amazon zShops. I sent the Symantec legal department a juicy info packet on my purchase.
From: Chansonette Connolly [mailto:ccon.don’t spam firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Monday, June 14, 2004 4:03 PM
Subject: Re: Report of Suspected Piracy of Norton AntiVirus 2003 from a Third Party on Amazon.com 4/21/04 – [removed] (zShop)
Dear Mr. Sonko,
Thank you for submitting to us the CD you purchased from [removed] (zShop) marked “Symantec Norton AntiVirus 2003” for evaluation, together with your documentation. We have examined the CD you submitted and believe it to be counterfeit. Therefore, and as I am sure you can understand, we will not be returning the CD to you. Our records show that this entity is not an affiliate or authorized partner of Symantec.
You may wish to contact your credit card / financial organization and find out what options you may have in a situation like this. We appreciate your taking the time to send us documentation relating to your purchase, which will assist us in continuing to investigate this matter further.
We appreciate the faith you have shown in Symantec’s products by purchasing legitimate software to replace any counterfeit software you might have had. Please be assured, you have made the right decision given the risks associated with counterfeit software, be it faulty operation, leaving your computer open to cyber attack or possible damage to your computer. Furthermore, legitimate software gives you the right to obtain updates generated by Symantec for that software. Updates are necessary to help protect your system from cyber attacks, which evolve on a daily basis.
We look forward to serving you as one of our valued customers and hope to make your cyber experience as safe and enjoyable as possible.
Manager, Worldwide Brand Protection
Office: (408) 517-8045
Interoffice: 6  8045
Fax: (408) 517-8121
chanso.don’t spam poor Chansonette.email@example.com
Any my response
When I wrote to Drakes (the company that makes Devil Dogs, Ring Dings and Yodels supermarket pastries) telling them about some bad Yodels I bought last year, they at least gave me a coupon for some free Yodels. When I wrote to them, all I included was a photo of some sorry-looking Yodels and a short explanation. When I wrote to you, I included a lengthy description that puts me on the spot vs. Amazon and vs. an Amazon seller, packaging material, and the actual product. You now have all the incriminating evidence you need to stop a major American pirate of your software.
For my trouble, all I got was a pat on the back. You can be sure that I won’t ever be bringing potentially pirated software to your attention again. You could learn a lot from a Yodel.