I ordered eight sensible gifts from Cards Against Humanity for Abigail for Hannukkah. The gifts were AMAZING! Really. They were inspiring, thoughtful, absurd, touching… just amazing!
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, Abigail isn’t Jewish, she’s a toddler! She welcomes presents from all religious and secular sources.
The first 3 nights were, of course, socks! You can’t have Hannukkah without lots of socks. Each pair came with nice, hand-written letters from dads. I don’t know whose dads but they were obviously lovingly written. Sensible as they a gift, they were unfortunately too large for Abigail’s tiny feet.
The fourth night held a Cards Against Humanity US Treasury Inflation Protected Securities Fund and a letter about the value of being thrifty! They friggin’ sent Abigail a dollar in an interest bearing account to keep safe! It’s like they were helping her open her first bank account! Yes, it’s a real dollar in a real account. The redemption information is on the back.
And here’s a photo of the tuppence bank scene in Mary Poppins for reference :-)
Next up, they gave the Chinese workers that actually print Cards Against Humanity a week of paid vacation. This might sound a bit odd but those folks live in the kind of place where they literally didn’t have a procedure for filing for vacation. The note explained how the CAH folks had to “buy” a week of nothing and then tell the workers to go home. It was accompanied by photos and thank-you cards from the people that work there. That is such a beautiful thing. There was also an awesome letter from “Josh’s dad” about the nature of gratitude. You can read more about it here.
Day Seven: This is when shit went off the rails. Stolen from their website:
We used the money for the seventh night of Hanukkah to purchase TÃªte de Faune, an original 1962 Picasso. The 150,000 people who subscribed to our Eight Sensible Gifts for Hanukkah now have a chance to vote: should we donate this work to the permanent collection of the Art Institute of Chicago, or should we laser-cut it into 150,000 tiny squares and send everyone their own scrap of a real Picasso?
Again, a link. As of this writing, they haven’t gotten back to us about the fate of the Picaso. It included a hand written letter from “David M.’s Dad” about the nature of culture.
Last and greatest, they made Abigail king for a day! Well, strictly speaking, she will be king for exactly 3 minutes. They bought a castle in Ireland and are letting each of the 150,000 people that bought in have their turn at ruling it! Yes, it’s a real castle. Though it’s rather modest. No hot water, no heat… not even a roof. But it is a certifiable, verifiable castle! You can read some of the proclamations of prior kings here!
Abigail’s turn at rulership be August 4th, 2016 10:06am-10:08 Central time. Look for some big changes!