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Hugh Groman passed away in August, 2024. He had a wonderful life, a far more fabulous life than I have. He was surrounded by people that loved him and he loved the many people in his life. And he was a very successful business owner. Yet he was taken by a merciless, horrid disease, depression. That is unfair to both him and the world that loved him!

He was a closer friend to my wife, Megan, but I knew him. Years ago, he literally demanded to cater our wedding and in doing so, he infused our wedding day and night with his incredible spirit and energy! I loved him!

His Celebration of Life was on January 23rd, 2025, at Ciel Creative Space in Berkeley. Family and friends gathered together in honor of him. And … dare I say… the event of the season! It really was!

It was, as I hope he would have wanted it: a grand party with music, an open bar, hors d’oeuvres, party schwag, disco lights, art on display, and people dressed to the nines in Gatsby-esque revelry at the good fortune we all had to be in the same place with everyone else. Missing only was the leading man who we each hoped in our hearts would leap onto the stage and call it all good fun.

More than a twenty-five people got on stage and either spoke forcefully about how awesome he was, how he had changed their lives, or they literally sang or danced in his honor. And that is not counting the throngs who got on stage to sing and dance in the audience participation numbers!

Please watch this beautiful evening that was streamed like the party it was, with laugher and tears:

The invitation

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His Obituary in Berkeleyside

Remembering Hugh Groman, master of hospitality who catered events for Barack Obama and Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Groman, who died last month at 53, founded popular Berkeley catering and party platter delivery businesses and ran a downtown burger joint called Phil’s Sliders from 2011 to 2017.
by Alix Wall
Sept. 18, 2024, 12:08 p.m.

Hugh Groman with his dogs in his Berkeley home. Credit: Cage & Aquarium

Of course, Nina Groman Ruebner’s favorite childhood memories about her younger brother, Hugh Groman, involve food.

As a kid, when his head wasn’t buried in a book, he used to make “cheese soufflés” by melting grated cheese in a ramekin in the toaster oven. They would eat them in a fort, “and they were delicious,” she said.

Another formative memory: When Groman was about 8, he wanted to make his own potato chips. He sliced raw potatoes and put them in a pot of oil on the stove. When they didn’t sizzle in what he considered a timely manner, he went out for a swim. The next thing he knew, smoke was pouring out of the kitchen; his parents had to do a remodel because of it.

Groman, who went on to found Hugh Groman Catering — a popular catering business in Berkeley which catered events for the likes of Barack Obama, Gloria Steinem and Ruth Bader Ginsburg — along with Greenleaf Platters and Phil’s Sliders, died suddenly on Aug. 29 in Berkeley. He was 53.

A resident of Berkeley for over two decades, Hugh Manuel Groman was born in Oakland on March 1, 1971. He was raised in Lafayette, where he was the youngest of four children. His father, Phil, owned a Jewish deli called New York West in Walnut Creek for some years, and Groman waited tables at various restaurants throughout high school.

Though his older siblings all attended Cal, Groman “was so much smarter than the rest of us,” his sister, Nina said; he attended Yale University, obtaining a bachelor’s degree in psychology.

He moved to New York after graduating. Having been a part of the Yale a cappella group Red Hot and Blue, he loved performing and auditioned for musical theater roles while working in restaurants to pay the bills. Eventually, he quit auditioning, but never lost his love of performance, eventually channeling it into his events.

When he heard about an opening at the brand new Gramercy Tavern, owned by hospitality guru Danny Meyer, he was interviewed by its head chef, Tom Colicchio. Even though Groman had little kitchen experience and hadn’t attended culinary school, they took a chance on him.

He excelled there, and took what he learned about hospitality forward into his further ventures, considering Meyer a mentor throughout his career.

“Hugh was an exuberant member of our opening kitchen team 30 years ago at Gramercy Tavern,” Meyer said in an email. “His culinary and hospitality chops were evident from the start, as were his entrepreneurial aspirations. He stood out as someone who wanted to build a business based on his genuine care for people.”

After he left Gramercy Tavern, Groman opened a cafe, Boerum Hill Food Company in Brooklyn, closing it after a few years.

Although same-sex marriage wasn’t legal then, he spent much of his time in New York in a relationship with Rob Berman, who he later called his ex-husband. They remained friends after they split.

In 2001, he moved back to the Bay Area, settling in Berkeley. He founded Hugh Groman Catering in 2001, and certified it as a green business. He founded Greenleaf Platters in 2007 to address the ecological scourge of plastic trays with domed lids, which are then tossed in the landfill. (Greenleaf drops off food on ceramic platters, and picks them up the next day.)

From 2011 to 2017, he also owned and operated Phil’s Sliders, a burger joint named after his father in downtown Berkeley, but closed it and turned the burger concept into part of his catering business.

Food waste was also a big issue for Groman. In 2023, he told Berkeleyside, “I happen to be Jewish and I have a deep, deep resistance to waste. I never, ever want to throw away food.”

Hugh Groman with his dogs in his Berkeley home. Credit: Cage & Aquarium
He also created a company culture where coworkers truly respected each other, believing a tenet he learned from Meyer: that his staff can’t take care of others unless they are well-taken care of themselves. Many of his employees have spent much of their culinary careers there.

His sister, Nina, has been his sales manager since 2006, after she gave birth to her second child.

His executive chef, David Going, and his wife, Teresa Going, head party chef, have both worked there for over 20 years. Their kids came to the kitchen after pre-school.

“He created a place where people wanted to stay,” David Going said, where most felt “‘why would I look for another job?’ This is the kitchen where a lot of people want to finish their culinary careers.”

Going read in a book about emotional intelligence that the most successful people in their jobs may not always have the best skillset, but are the ones who people want to work with.

“Hugh really brought that home for me,” he said. “I had to fire my share of people because they couldn’t play nice with others.”

Groman used his creativity to keep the company going during Covid, and found ways to keep on much of his staff, by offering groceries, catered family meals and gift baskets.

Groman loved the catering industry because it was endlessly creative; every event was a blank canvas for him to put his imprint on, and he relished designing the whole guest experience, not just the menus.

Since encountering his food at a friend’s dinner party in 2008, Jenny Risk had him do her family’s holiday parties every year, as well as other events.

“He brought his incredible magic to whatever he did,” Risk said. Go-go dancing elves and Frozen’s Elsa and Olaf in drag were just two examples of what Groman suggested for her holiday parties; one year it was an “Under the Sea” theme in her front yard with whale sounds piped in.

“Every year our guests would wonder how he’d outdo himself, and it was always slightly on the edge, where we were asking are we being offensive and him, of course, doing it in a way that makes everyone laugh,” she said. “Everyone always wanted more of what he could do.”

That irreverent sense of humor came through in nearly all his relationships; he was always making his friends laugh, and being just slightly inappropriate.

In the early aughts, he performed in an all-male cover band, Mandonna; in 2015, he did a series of cooking videos on Berkeleyside NOSH, and for many years, he did short cooking segments on KTVU, the local Fox News affiliate.

“His segments were always filled with good humor and laughter,” said Frank Mallicoat, the KTVU morning anchor. “He had a devilish personality and a little twinkle in his eye and was always such great fun to work with. One of my favorite segments was New Year’s Eve. He was attempting to open a bottle of champagne when the cork exploded and hit me in the face. Nobody was injured, but the video got tens of thousands of views because it was so darn funny.”

Groman was a member of the Business Growth Network for around 15 years, a Business Networking International chapter, supplying the group’s weekly lunchtime meetings with his catered food. Though he was successful enough as to not always need the referrals that such a group brings, he always told others that they need to stay active in the group and not only come when business is booming, Mavis Delacroix, a fellow member of the chapter, and friend said.

When prospective members visited the group to learn more about it, most often Groman was the one who called them afterwards, to check in or answer any questions.

“Hugh was always the one who made them feel welcome,” Delacroix said. “His business was hospitality and his life was hospitality. He was a master of making people feel welcome and putting people at ease. He also was very interested in seeing everyone in the chapter succeed.”

Groman also served as president of the Northern California Chapter of the International Live Events Association.

He was generous with his time and expertise, picking out used furniture for Delacroix when she downsized after a divorce – he was planning on starting yet another business, Groman Group Interiors – or mentoring other up-and-coming chefs as they entered or changed roles in the industry.

To work with Groman, or know him professionally, was to be his friend. (I was lucky enough to consider him a friend, too).

“He was a mentor and friend and showed me so much kindness, support and love on my journey from executive chef at Back to Earth Catering to starting my business 16 years ago,” said Stephanie Hibbert, who uses the name Chef Stephanie, and now works as a personal chef in the Sacramento area. “He was a great example of how to be a kind leader and how to inspire your employees to be the best versions of themselves.”

In 2001, he met Noah Guynn at the Berkeley YMCA (“a gay cliché,” Guynn said.) From their first date a week later, they were together, having a commitment ceremony in 2007, and a legal wedding in 2008.

“He had more integrity and depth than anyone I had known, and he was more generous with his feelings,” said Guynn. “Though he was incredibly outgoing and loved to be constantly engaged with other people, I was always No. 1, and that was very special.”

While Guynn may have been No. 1 in human terms, Groman deeply loved his dogs. Guynn had three schnauzers when they met, and in their time as a couple, they adopted four other dogs together.

Groman was a regular attendee of Burning Man, favoring costumes that involved furry shrugs and mini top hats.

In addition to his husband, Noah, and sister, Nina, he is survived by his father, Phil, two brothers, Jay and Eron, and seven nephews and four nieces.

Donations in his memory can be made to the Alameda County Food Bank.

As for the 123-employee-strong Hugh Groman Group, the company’s leadership has decided to continue on without their beloved founder; they remain committed to coming up with outlandishly campy holiday party themes in his memory.

“One of the nights right after he died, we had a large wedding,” Ruebner said. “The staff circled up before it started and hugged, and they executed it perfectly. The client never knew, and that’s such a testament to the amazing team he put together.”