I got this today. San Francisco is so [insert modifier here]<\/p>\n
Subject: Zombie Migration Alert: This Saturday, August 16th<\/strong><\/p>\n
Zombie Alert: This Saturday<\/p>\n
Friends and countrymen, it is with a heavy heart that I report on the state of Zombie Activity in our fair city of San Francisco. The time has come to once again activate the radio-attraktor towers to funnel hundreds of zombies through downtown to a secure location. This is a risky maneuver, as evidenced by carnage enshrouding last year’s event. Rest assured, we have made improvements to the technology.<\/p>\n
We will turn on the radio-attraktor towers at 2:05pm on Saturday, August 16th. All zombies in the area will be telepathically compelled to march down a route which we will disclose in a future email. The radio waves will also cause undead to crave duct tape instead of human flesh. If you are unfortunate enough to be standing along the route with a duct tape “X” on your torso, you will be attacked and consumed by the horde, after which you will be one of them. Don’t wear your favorite shirt.<\/p>\n
Please, please tell your friends and family not to be anywhere near the route at 2:05pm this Saturday! Have them sign up for updates ( http:\/\/eatbrains.com\/announcements<\/a>) or follow the movement live on Twitter with up-to-the-minute zombie migration forecast, Beijing Olympic protest style ( http:\/\/twitter.com\/SFZombieMob<\/a>). If we loose radio control of the mob, the result will be catastrophically gruesome!<\/p>\n