The coldest winter I ever spent
Archive for 2009
This is the followup to 1575 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
Don’t read this here. Instead read it on the author’s site!
Continue reading ‘1575 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG: Part 2’ »
Oh. My. God.
Back in 2005 I came across this list. My sides hurt every time I look at it. Really. Try it. Caveat: if you haven’t ever played an RPG, your sides will remain pain-free.
I just revisited the site and see that there are now 1575 things that Mr. Welch is prohibited from doing. TheGlen is a fricking genius.
I have blatantly stolen his list. I very strongly encourage you to go to his Livejournal blog and read them there. Besides, there are loads of comments on his site.
Moreover, do not read too many of these at once. Bookmark this page. Stop reading after your sides start to hurt. You can come back next week or next year. We’ll be here for you.
Continue reading ‘1575 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG’ »
Every time I fly my ears hurt upon decent. It’s been like that for as long as I’ve been flying. My ears just don’t clear themselves on their own. I have tried chewing gum and yawning and swallowing hard; they will sometimes work to get air into my ears but the technique I’m about to show you works every time.
I have done just that on tens of flights over tens of years. I usually have to clear both ears 3 times during a decent. I make sure to do the procedure before too much pressure builds up. If there is a lot of pressure, it can be downright painful when the air releases. But the alternative is to be in pain and be partially deaf for an hour or two while the pressure equalizes on its own.
You just need the tiniest bit of air to make it into your ear so go easy!
Most every time I’m in a plane descending, I hear a child start to cry. My last flight, the kid was whining loudly for 30 minutes about all sorts of problems, “Mom, I want to sit with my mommy” (repeated 500 freaking times), “My arm hurts” (repeated 50 freaking times), “I’m thirsty” (repeated and repeated and repeated). I will bet that the kid was suffering from ear pain and didn’t even know it. It’s a really unusual pain that many kids have rarely or never even experienced… they don’t know where it’s coming from… inside their heads? ridiculous!
I think I’ll write a letter to some airlines and suggest they offer a pamphlet to families titled something like “Mommy, it Hurts! Helping Children Clear Their Ears During Descent“. What do you think?
It’s a single evil red eye scanning, absorbing and p0wning your world.
It’s the new Verizon Droid!
It’s like a little Terminator in your pocket, right next to your junk.
It’s a bit of Sauron in your pants!
It’s the little man that will suffocate you in outer space.
The TV ad (which can be seen on their web site by clicking “Stealth” on the Droid wheel-o-doom) sells the phone as being the protagonist in a horror movie. Remember The Andromeda Strain? The Blob from 1988? War of the Worlds? This is how they all start.
local version:
Their billboards even TELL YOU they are going to kill us all. “Here ends the cruel rein of adorable phones” and “A muscle made of microchips”(that will crush human skulls beneath their robotic claw-feet…) (photo via) and “A bare knuckled bucket of does”(that will punch you in the face and steal your world) (photo via)
And if they didn’t scare you enough, the web site for the Droid has this sound track right out of… oh I don’t know, every fricking horror movie ever made. It’s the sounds you hear in Half-Life 2 when you’re in the room just before the room that the squid-headed zombified people are going to attack you in.
My aunt tried a Droid at a Verizon store today and she really liked it. She told me how they have reeducation classes to show you how the phones work.
And remember, “Android Does” is an anagram for both “Donor is dead” and “Dread id soon”!
I am being pelted with kosher salt sized hail on the top of san Bruno mountain! and I’m singing!
That was my Twitter post from the top of a wet rainy icy wonderful mountain top yesterday.
Hmm, I actually meant to say “rock salt sized” hail. :-)
Here’s the pix
I note that iPhone touch screens don’t work as well when they have water droplets on the screen. I’m guessing the conductance of the water drops confuses the capacitive sensors.
The absolute classic space horror movie Alien was inspired by the awesomely classic and low budget Dark Star! (via)
